The Biggest Curve of All

In April of this year, I faced one of the biggest curve balls of my life (okay, probably the biggest).  My husband and I welcomed our baby boy Andrew (we call him Drew) to the world.  It was the happiest day of my life.  He is my joy and has quickly become the center of my universe.  I love him infinitely and cannot imagine a time before Drew.

Becoming a mom was something that I always knew that I wanted to do.  It’s been in me from the time I was a little girl.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t in a rush to have children, I just knew that it was going to be the most important, best thing I did in my life.  I grew up with a stay at home mom who gave everything to us as her children, and I knew that I wanted to emulate her and be the best mom I could be.  I just knew “being a mom” was what I was meant for.

However, I’ve always felt younger than I truly am, so the thought of having a child was always in a “one day that will be such a great thing” kind of way.  I didn’t imagine it happening now (even though I’m plenty old to have a child) just because I still feel like such a child myself.  That’s how everything in my life has been.  I went to college way before I thought I was ready, I got a job and moved out on my own way before I thought it was time, that’s just been the story of my life.  I’ve always felt a little in over my head, so of course, this would be no different. 

I got married almost two years ago, and my husband and I knew that we wanted to start a family fairly quickly.  So about four months into our newlywed bliss, we began trying to have a baby.  I think it was a surreal thought at the time we were trying to conceive, as I had no idea what to expect or just how much my life would change. 

We found out in August that we were pregnant, and so began the nine long months of pregnancy.  I truly had a pretty easy pregnancy.  I felt great for the most part.  I had a couple of weeks in the first trimester with some morning sickness (that is actually all day sickness, not just the morning, but they don’t tell you that), but that was about it.  I felt great up until the day I gave birth.

April 29, 2013 was a game changer.  The best day ever and the day that I faced the ultimate in curve balls.  I knew it was going to be difficult and I knew it was going to be rewarding, I just didn’t realize HOW difficult and HOW rewarding.  There is truly nothing better than being a mom.  Of course, I’m new at it, and therefore, certainly no expert, but I try my hardest every day to be the best mom I know how.  It’s challenging and hard and more work than I could have ever imagined, but it’s also the best experience I’ve ever had.  It’s a love that you can’t describe and I don’t think you truly feel until you’ve had the joy of being a parent yourself.  It’s an unconditional, indescribable love for another human being from the first moment you meet them.  You don’t need any time to get to know them, or figure out what they are like, you just love them, unconditionally, uncontrollably.  There is nothing better.

Drew is my favorite little curve ball.  He completely changed my life and way of thinking. Not in a “I have to give up everything I used to do” way but in a completely awesome way.  Before him, both my husband and I led a somewhat selfish life.  And I don’t say this in a derogatory way.  There is nothing wrong with living a life that is completely about you and what you need at any given moment.  I think it’s important to have some time to be selfish and do the things that you want to whenever you want to do them.  For some people, that’s the ultimate and there is no need to have children, and that’s perfectly fine too.  I just knew that eventually, my life would become about more than just myself.  Having a child takes away any notion of selfishness you have as you are now completely responsible for another person’s life.  Your life is no longer all about you and what you want to do.  You have something, or should I say someone, more important to consider.

My husband and I made a conscious effort before we had Drew to agree that we would not completely change our lifestyle and quit doing the things we loved.  We wanted to continue to “be us” but to share that with our son.  That’s exactly why we had Drew, as a one month old, in an Ergobaby out on hiking trails.  We knew going into it that trying to continue to do all the things we used to, would be what would make us happy.  And it has.  We also knew that there would probably be times that we would try to do something and maybe Drew wouldn’t cooperate, and that’s okay.  We just wanted to make an effort to continue to be the active, outdoorsy couple that we were before Drew.  And we have been pretty darn successful.  It helps that we have one of the best babies on the planet who is an absolute trooper.  Enjoying the activities that we used to do before him has now become even better because we get to enjoy them WITH him.  And he’s the best. So yes, Drew was a curve ball, but he’s the best little curve ball, and I can’t imagine a life without him.