Wednesday Wisdom - Being a Present Parent

Last Friday night I watched Dateline (I'm cool, I know), and it really got me thinking.  The story was about an 18 year old high school girl who was murdered by her two best friends.  She was stabbed to death in cold blood by two people that she thought were her very best friends.  The story was unbelievable, and struck me in a way I didn't know it would.  As a mother now, I couldn't help but think of Drew and about this crazy world that he is growing up in.  I want so badly to be the best mother I can be and to protect him from all of the evil in the world, but I know it's a big challenge, and I'm not exactly sure how to do it.  Parenting is hard, and I worry about it already, even though Drew is only 10 months old.  I want to do the very best that I can to ensure that he has a happy childhood that results in him becoming a happy, healthy, well-adjusted young man.

The Dateline story made me realize that, even with the best intentions, parenting is a challenge.  I want to be the best mom I can be, but I worry sometimes about how to go about it.  The parents of the girl that was killed seemed to be really good parents who were involved in their daughter's life and knew her friends.  They even stood by their daughter's friends at the beginning of the investigation when suspicions fell on them, because they were sure there was no way that the girls would have been involved in the death of their daughter.  Unfortunately, they learned that their worst fear was a reality, and that their daughter's friends were in fact her killers.  All I know is that what they experienced is any parent's worst nightmare. And even though they were good parents who were involved in their daughter's life, they had to experience a pain that no parent should.

When we decided to start a family, the "parenting" aspect of having a child was not high on my list of considerations.  Of course, I knew it would be a part of it all, but I guess I didn't really think about how important it really is.  I think there are so many parents out there that don't really give "parenting" a second thought and don't realize that it is a key component of their child's future.  When you decide to have a child, you immediately become responsible for them and their safety.  It's your job to protect and provide for them, and your job to ensure that they succeed in life. Of course, it's not always possible to protect your children from everything, and sometimes bad things happen to good people.  I think being aware of the importance of being an active parent is key, and is a good start in doing your very best as a parent.

I often worry about being a good parent, as I realize that I'm a big part of how Drew will turn out.  The show got me thinking about what it means to raise a child these days, how much effort and time must be put into your children and their lives.  I don't know the best way to be a parent, and I certainly worry about making mistakes or not living up to expectations as a mother.  I was blessed with the best mother on the planet, and I only hope that someday Drew will feel about me how I feel about her.  But what's the secret?  How do you ensure that your child makes the right choices and becomes all that they were meant to be?  I just don't know the answer to that right now.

This story just made me realize how important it is to be present.  Be present in your child's life and be aware of what is going on with them in all aspects of their lives.  Know their friends and the people that they spend their time with.  Know the parents of the people they spend time with.  I'm not sure what the best way is, but I think my ultimate goal is to just be present. I want to be a confidant of Drew so that if someday he has a problem or an issue with a friend, he will come to me.  I want him to confide in me and feel like he can tell me anything.  That is my goal.  To be present and to be the person that he wants to tell about his troubles, his successes, his everything.  I know that my mom is the first person that I want to call when anything happens to me, good or bad, and I can only hope that Drew feels the same way about me someday as I do about my own mom.  I will let him know that I love him more than anything and he can talk to me about anything, good or bad, and I will do my very best to help him in any way that I can. I don't think there is any way to ensure that bad things won't happen, but I will try my very best to do my part.